I work as the Web Strategist for Fair Trade Certified, and every year there’s a meeting in Bonn, Germany, to discuss marketing and communications, to brainstorm, and to meet our colleagues overseas. This is the first time I’ve attended, and my first trip to Paris! We flew in and out of Paris because it was cheaper, oddly enough. The first week of my trip was a day and a half in Paris, 2 in Bonn with meetings all day, one in Brussels with meetings, and then back to Paris for meetings for 2 days. Then I had 4 days off by myself to explore Paris.
I started this trip out pretty cranky, but the good news is it ended with lovely times. I wasn’t able to sleep or adjust to the jet lag for the first 4 days, so I had a total meltdown. Ooops.
It was a very very different experience the last 4 days I was in Paris, as I was on my own (vs. with my co-worker, whom I shared a hotel room with for 8 days, and not working and rushing around Germany and Belgium) and able to do exactly what I wanted. Had the whole trip been like this (and still expenses paid) it probably would have been a dream. Alas, that life is not mine!
Though I’ve noticed it before, this trip made me realize how much my entire being deplores change. Before I started visiting Vermont a lot, I experienced the same thing even there – the 1st week was an adjustment to being somewhere new, and I hated it, and then the 2nd week I adored it and didn’t want to go home. Knowing this, I should plan my travels accordingly. Too bad America doesn’t believe in month holidays, like Europe!
So, this first post is a short guide for people who are maybe on the hermit-y side, maybe don’t like crowds so much, and maybe are a little prone to being grumpy – even in Paris.
The next few Paris posts will be maps and walks, & the favorite places I visited.
1. Get a Parisian friend
The indispensible Mathyld‘s sweetness made up for any meanesss from Parisians. The legendary crankiness of Parisians toward Americans was also true in my experience, with men being pretty friendly and women being mean. This wasn’t universal, but enough that it stood out to me. After a week, when I felt more comfortable speaking a little French, this did improve. (Mind you, I never walked up and was like “Hi, y’all! Reckon you could git me one of them there bag-ettes?”)
Anyway, you get a nice Parisian friend, she makes little tours and maps and plans, you see everything that is lovely, and people are nice. The end.
She met us at the train from Germany with fresh, rose-shaped, Fair Trade Certified banana muffins. Amazing, right?
2. GPS is the best thing since sliced bread
Seriously. Even though if you stay in one place you’ll get used to it quickly (within 24 hours I managed to orient myself to a new area) it still is the handiest thing ever. I signed up for roaming data before I left, otherwise it’s quite spendy. It was handy to be able to instantly map my current location to my next destination, and I felt empowered to go on (Situationist style) dérive walks knowing at the end I would be able to get back to my hotel.
3. En Francias, s’il vous plait
Learn French. Practice French. Practice HEARING French. It will make your life 100982907283972 times nicer in Paris. I was asked directions a lot, and instead of staring blankly like a moron, it would be better to have said:
I’m sorry, I’m not from Paris.
Désolé(e), je ne suis pas de Paris.
& kept walking like I had somewhere to go. The annoying thing is, I DO know enough French to have answered most of these, but I was so out of practice and shy that I just became paralyzed with mortification & couldn’t speak. So yes, practice.
Some things people may ask you:
Dinner or drinks?
C’est pour manger ou pour boire?
Have you decided?
Avez-vous décidé?
Are you finished?
Avez-vous fini?
We have other sizes.
Nous avons d’autres tailles.
Can I help you?
Puis-je vous aider ?
Learn these phrases (assuming you know basic greetings, excuse me, thank you, etc):
May I sit here?
Puis-je m’asseoir ici ?
May I sit outside?
Puis-je m’asseoir dehors ?
Do you have this in size ___?
Avez-vous ceci en taille ___ ?
How much is this?
Combien ça coute ?
I would like…
Je voudrais…
…a glass of water.
…un verre d’eau
…the check, please.
…l’addition, s’il vous plait
I am a vegetarian.
Je suis végétarien(ne).
Where are the toilets / is the bathroom ?
Où sont les toilettes ?
4. Don’t eat
Ok, well, eat. But be careful. Maybe the whole “walking 8 hours a day and eating what you like” works in your 20s, but in your mid-thirties, you may as well just staple those baguettes right to your thighs. This could probably be helped by NOT going to Paris during the hottest week of the year, where ice cream is consumed nonstop. I started doing well, getting salads, eating light at nice places, but as the heat wore on and the money ran out, I ended up with a diet of bread and ice cream. Yeah, gross. Don’t do this. So yes, I did gain weight in Paris, even walking 8-10 hours (literally) in a day.
French women really are as thin as people say. It’s pretty nerve-wracking and by the end of the trip I felt yucky both from what I was eating and from seeing women so thin their legs wobble from the effort of keeping themselves standing. Ok, that’s gross too. But really, if you have any sort of body issues, it’s hard to be here. Especially if you have zero willpower around pastries when tired.
That said, the other thing to know is: eat when you can. Lunch is usually from 11-2 as far as I can tell, and dinner from 7-11. It’s hard to find a meal outside of those times; a few times we went looking for lunch at 3:30 and dinner post-11pm, and that didn’t work out at all.
Wine is actually cheaper than water, and on a hot day, rosé is perfect. I saw a couple of French women drinking it on ice, brilliant. Practice saying it, the r is in your throat and almost sounds like “rho-say.”
It can be difficult to find vegetarian food but most places will make you up a salad or a plate with veggies no problem.
5. No shoes will be comfortable.
Unless maybe you wear tennis shoes. But seriously, it’s Paris, you’re not going to wear tennis shoes. That would be gross. There’s a reason all the pharmacies have one million foot products right at the door as you walk in. Bring your favorite flats, get some “shopping and dancing” insoles, some silicone blister ampules, and you’re good to go. But be prepared for your feet to feel like bloody stumps.
6. Les Soldes : The Sales
So this is pretty wacky – Paris only has sales in the shops twice a year. People go crazy. CRAZY. I guess maybe it’s like Filene’s Basement at bride-time or ummm, I don’t even know, NYC sample sales? It’s wild. In a way it was great, because I was able to buy a few things, but it definitely added to the total madness I felt was Paris. As far as I can tell, Paris is really, really expensive, so it might be worth it to actually try to go during the sales. I bought 2 pairs of shoes, a jumpsuit, a dress, 3 inexpensive tops, a pair of pants, and a belt, and still spent WAYYYYY too much, even with the sales. (Plus presents, eek.) Maybe number 6 should actually be: win the lottery before going to Paris.
7. Bring books
English books are pretty expensive, and I read 3 in my spare time. If you’re alone, it’s so so so nice to take a break from all the walking to sit in the shade and idly read and people watch at a cafe. It saved my sanity, for sure. But, I also spent too much buying new books, since I only brought one with me. I didn’t see any used English bookshops, except the rare book section of Shakespeare & Co.
8. Go to Paris while you still like cities and people.
If you get too old and hermity and grumpens and all you want is quiet and leafy green woodland times, you might not like it so much. I probably would have LOVED it a decade ago in my mid twenties. June in Paris during the sales and a heat wave is like being in a crowded mall with a broken air conditioner. (There is almost no air conditioning in Paris, even in museums or department stores. None. SO HOT. The smartest thing we did was to stay in new hotels with AC.) A mall where everyone is smoking, and the toilets are broken. Not so romantic!
I am glad I didn’t come here for my honeymoon; I was convinced it’s EXACTLY what I wanted, but it’s really too big and busy and chaotic for us as a couple. Maybe someone can recommend better times? Obviously, I couldn’t have changed my visit as I was here for work, but it does seem strange that so many tourists go during such stinky & busy times. Part of me wishes I’d gone out and danced and drank and been crazy but then another part of me knows I just don’t do well around crowds anymore.
Curiously, the tweets from Harper’s magazine were all about Paris this morning, and they informed me that 650 people a year break bones in Paris from slipping in dog feces. Um, vile.
9. Stay as long as possible.
By the time it was time to go, I was just starting to think in French and to relax enough to be really enjoying it. At some point, I must figure out a way (perhaps a short web-contract job? Any leads?) to stay for 3+ months in Paris, enough time to really be able to speak enough French to get around, to learn the secret places, and to be able to shop/cook on a budget without feeling sick from all the pastry! Once the shock/novelty wears off, it’s really very lovely. I’d love, if I ever have a child, to stay in Paris long enough for them to learn French.
10. Go to Brussels
Only an hour away by train, Brussels really sparked that wondrous magic feeling I thought I’d feel in Paris, instantly. The architecture is like a patchwork, the parks are huge and stunning, there’s Art Nouveau everywhere, the pastry is amazing, etc etc. I wish we’d had more time here. Wanderlust!
Oh! All the best and the worst. I’ve always wanted to go, but you’re right, I’d probably just be grumpy and complain about my feet the whole time!
I’m pretty sure if you had some extra cash, a nice place to make a home base out of, no work, went in the spring or fall, and had a solid few weeks to explore, it would be totally amazing. However, who has all that, right?!
Eventually, your feet become completely numb. Also, you don’t have to be as vain as me, but even Toms shoes, which usually are like walking on air, hurt. Yikes. You could also take the Metro, but then you miss out on seeing everything!!
Oh, this is a wonderful write up! I’ve been to Paris a couple of times, don’t love it, don’t have plans to return anytime soon but what you’ve presented here would be excellent advice for first timers.
You’ve inspired me to write up something similar for places that I know well (Kyoto, Bangkok etc). Well done!
I loved this post! I visited Paris several years ago for just a few days. I loved it, but being a hermit-type myself I felt overwhelmed at times. I always felt a little guilty (?) for feeling that way about such a wonderful place and your thoughts here really put that into perspective. I would like to visit again some day and would definitely make some different choices regarding planning and the amount of time spent there. I’m glad it was lovely in the end. Best wishes to you in your upcoming wedding! Your blog is always one of my favorite places to visit.
awesome advice, thanks so much for your honesty!
Ha! I guess it’s not very blog-esque to be like “Ok, this is what sucked.” vs “Ohhh, Paris, here’s everything pastel and romantic!” but really, I wish I’d known some of these things beforehand, especially the eating hours!!
Honestly, a couple of years ago I had such a wretched time in Prague that I HAD to write a long zine about it, based on my travel diary. And even though I felt kind of like a whiner and a jerk for admitting the things I didn’t like or which didn’t go well, I think the non-glamorous things NEED to be said.
EVERYBODY has hard times, jet lag DOES suck, sometimes all you want is a nice meal without a hassle and when you can’t even get that? It’s such a trial. Thanks for being honest, m’dear. It’s invaluable.
totally agree on the crazy sales! I was almost trampled in Printemps. It was like these women have never seen clothing before. Then, I made myself feel better with an espresso topped with a gallon of chantilly cream.
Haaaaa, that actually made me laugh out loud.
It is a big hot stinky city in the Summer! If you want to go back for longer to practice French, why not try out in the countryside? There are so many lovely places…
For sure! I went to the south of France (drove from Barcelona to Nice) in 1994, and ADORED it instantly. But then, I was 18 and hadn’t gotten grumpy yet!! Maybe a few weeks in Paris, a few weeks in the country…in my dreams. ;D
I have friends (in their 30s, even!) who are on this exact trip right now, two weeks in Paris, two weeks traveling in the country. They are now plotting ways to never come home.
Your little guide is very helpful. I feel crabby and too-old-for-this-shit sometimes, but I do want to go places and see things and be a little uncomfortable with my foreign language skills but try hard anyway.
This is the only travel post I’ve EVER read that actually conveys what I feel about going places/change – and why I always say I “don’t like to travel” (which isn’t exactly true).
oof. I studied French for 10 years and after one failed exchange with a grumpy Parisian, was silenced out of shyness for the rest of my trip too!
at least I could read signs…
you might be onto something with the slightly smaller cities idea – I felt similarly about Madrid (too big too blah). I would love to see some other parts of France. There is a hysterical movie about the South of France called The Chateau which you might like…
i think honeymoons should be in calm places that aren’t cities, but that’s just me, i live in nyc! are you still thinking about cork, ireland? thre are some places in asia i would suggest but they are so pricey.
also i would need to know: quelque chose a manger?
Yes! We’re going to fly into Shannon and rent a car, found a deal that’s like $650 each for the flight AND the car, from JFK. So train to NYC, stay overnight, then fly to Ireland. Where vacation time is going to come from, I don’t know. Anyway. hotels are SO reasonable there, so it’s good. Cold fall sea-side fog adventures & castle walkings!
I feel almost entirely the same way about New York: if I wasn’t living here for the miserably hot summer, with constantly hurting feet (even those german orthopedic shoes hurt me), and working 40 hrs a week, and had a bunch of money (working and still not having money probably also adds to my grumpiness), oh, and also moving every 3 weeks, I’d like it. Actually, funny enough, in my mind I always think, “At least if I were in PARIS, this would be worth it!” Because at least Paris is beautiful. NYC- not so much. Seriously wondering wtf makes people want to live here. Ugh. Yeah, I should also be 22, 23…even 25. Not 28!
Aw, NYC is beautiful too! I think because I miss my grandma so much NYC for me (even before she died) was always me looking at the buildings and thinking of her as a teenager wandering – so sweet. And so many stories from her and my Mom and memories of being a kid, our trips to NYC shaped me so much? Like fancy teas with my Nana and the library & FAO Schwartz. So it’s so different. I attach to the buildings and the streets.
Are you doing internships, or just in the city for the summer?
(http://www.verhext.com/106) nyc post
But probably i would hate it in 103 temps and working, too. Have you been to the tenement museum? it’s a nice connection to old NYC.
I lived there for 9 mos. & absolutely hated it! I think I was 100 years late. Paris is like ROLEX= Totally Overrated. It’s a state of mind- not a real place !
Yes, agree – everything I read was basically Paris from 1890-1940. It really made the Paris of NOW to be quite a shock.
Yeah, I’m doing an internship…in Queens. It’s kind of random and unexciting, but pays a little bit. I guess my problem here is feeling like I and not a lot of people seem to have any connection to this place, which makes it feel empty. On top of, like you described, stupid cupcake shops and the whole realm of places to spend money at and that kind of emptiness. I have never been so bummed out on humanity- multiple instances of people peeing in public, spitting, screaming at people, throwing things at people, depressing people feeding disgusting crap to their lethargic children on the subway. Everything feels too strategized here, I don’t know. I’m not surprised or charmed by much, and am ready to go back to California! August 3rd can’t come soon enough! I haven’t seen family since Christmas, and I just want to eat good produce and swim in the ocean!
next time you go to paris, get an apartment! i found a small little place in montmartre and spent one week of my two week parisian stay there, and it was so SO nice to have a home base, kitchen and all!
This is what most of the people I know do. But for work, we did 2 days in Paris, 3 days in Bonn, one day in Brussels, 3 days in Paris – that was paid for by work. Then I stayed with a friend, as I can’t afford Parisian hotel prices!
I don’t like Paris. I live here and, as you are well aware, hate it most of the time (not for the same reasons, though) but I’m glad I had time to show you my favourite places. And loved spending these moments with you.
x x x
___m___
Aw. But you stay! How come?
Seriously you completely redeemed Paris for me! You should start a travel guide.
My only experience of Paris & Brussels was ill-planned, mainly due to us having booked hotel & plane tickets like 2 weeks before Hurricane Katrina hit, and the trip was already planned for New Years 2006, so obviously trying to get all hyped up about going someplace new was more than we could muster in those in between months. Luckily in Belgium we had friends who lived just outside of Brussels so we got a locals tour of “the best of Belgium”. Most Brussels exploring was on our own though, and I feel like we missed out on a lot because we didn’t even know what we should try to see. We didn’t get guidebooks or anything ahead of time. Same with Paris. We knew the obvious sites, but in retrospect I really wish we had properly prepared like we would have with a normal trip. We also relied on my sister, who at the time was major in foreign languages / opera to be our translator and then we realized once we got over there that she wasn’t used to hearing and speaking French that well either. Oops!
Looks like you had fun though, congrats on your first visit to Paris!
travel is really hard and can be crazy miserable, especially if you just want to go home, but i’m glad you ended up enjoying your last few days.
>> I stay because I have a greeeeat flat for cheeeeap !
And some fabulous friends …
I’ve been planning to move to London … But there are these, you know, Chinchilla issues …
I have thought of making a Paris Guide. I’m glad you liked what we did. I had funnnn !
LoL brilliant post. Yes Parisians are shockingly rude to strangers generally, not just to Americans, but very kind and hospitable when you are properly introduced. I spent three months there as the world’s worst waitress to make college fees.
Anyways, you’re coming to Ireland??? Fantastic. I hope you love it and everybody is good to you. Don’t miss Café Paradiso if you’re in Cork. Incredible veggie food. It’s supposed to be the best vegetarian restaurant in Europe. I had my hen night there, and use the cookbooks all the time.
Oooh! We will be in Cork, that’s where his family is from so we are definitely headed there…I’ll make a note of it! The idea is to fly into Shannon and spend a week wandering the southern coast – I’ve already spent a month (years and years ago) backpacking all around the Sligo/Donegal area…
you’re back, yippee!
yes, travel is fun (mostly), but i always feel like you need a little bit more time either side to acclimatise/decompress. also flying is so draining, when we used to fly places, i’d always begin the holiday with a cold. teleportation, i reckon THAT is the way to travel.
I know it wasn’t feasible for you on this trip, but I find doing the apt rental thing to be very affordable. Especially in the Marais, where you have dozens of farmer’s markets, grande or petite supermarches, bakeries, etc. within a few minutes walk. The vacation apts are equipped nicely in the kitchens so we usually cook all our own meals. Saves money and calories, believe me and then giving into the delirious indulgence of the French pastries can be minimized but still enjoyed. Also, extra $$$ for shopping too! Eating at restaurants, even cafes all the time in Paris is expensive!
I’m going to Paris again for my fifth time this September. I just can’t get enough of visiting there! If it was possible to live there…
When I was thinking about trying to move there for 3 months with friends last year, we talked about doing house swaps – I mean, we live in a stunning 1920s house in Berkeley, and my friend owns a Victorian flat in SF – but we both have cats!! So much for that plan…we do often see SF > Paris swap requests, though!
Oh and yes, time of year for traveling there does matter! I’d never go in the summertime. I have been there in winter and it can be very cold but you are used to New England winters, right? So you’d probably be fine. Plus, fall and winter clothing is infinitely more interesting than summer and spring clothing. At least in my opinion.
Amazing advice! Thank you. I’m bookmarking this post for the future when someday I do get to Paris.
You are the greatest. This is all such good advice, and made me remember what else I wanted to add to my earlier comment about what Mick Kelly heard about Paris in The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, which is that in Paris there is no water to drink – only wine. Ha!
Great list!
For such a short trip to Paris, you really learned a lot!
I agree: the best thing you can do is pick up some French. The people are much nicer and helpful if you show some effort their way with the language.
Another great nearby trip is Lyon by train. It’s the biggest transportation hub outside of Paris, so you can get a train there every hour. It’s a big city, but with more of an outdoor feel to it. Just as charming, but in a different way: red roofs, many pedestrani streets, and hills!
One small contradiction: DO eat! Grab a hot, buttery croissant every chance you get! You’ll deal with it later, but for now enjoy yourself, right?
ooh, Lyon sounds great!
Yes to eating, but SO many people were like “Don’t worry, you’ll lose weight walking no matter what you eat!” and I wanted to make sure there was a voice of reality in the mix. Especially for those of us on wedding diets! All that walking WONT burn off eating French ice cream and croissants all day long, at least if you’re a chubby Italian girl careening toward 35!
I think the walking really does help, but mostly because of the metro. I know there were days where I would walk at least 25 flights of stairs through some of those big hubs (Bastille, Montparnasse, etc).
When I returned to the states, I was worried about getting back into exercise because I hadn’t exercised for about a year in France, but it turned out that walking/climbing kept me in shape just enough.
Wedding diet…good luck!!
Beautiful! I really enjoyed reading this. We head back to Paris tomorrow, and I can’t wait to sink my teeth into an eclair. 😉
Paris is such a beautiful city! One thing I learnt is that you should always watch where you’re going! The architecture is so amazing that I constantly wander around staring up… unfortunately this lead to me walking straight into a lamp post in front of a huge strike rally.
I’ve recently started reading your blog and am working my way through some old posts. As others have said on this one and elsewhere, I appreciate your honesty. It’s certainly refreshing.
I loved this post. I’m the same way about travel, and it does take me a while to adjust. Also, I put on weight for the first time in my life as an 18 year old travelling in Italy. The walking does not offset it!
Anyway, I’ve just moved to Europe from the Bay and this post rang true for me in so many ways! The different schedules, the language barriers, the surprising style homogeneity. That said, I love it here. It’s a big adjustment, though!