the list to end all lists

I love making lists. LOVE IT. The only things, sometimes, that can get me out of a total overwhelmed crazy rut is to sit down and make a list. So here’s the grandmama of all lists: the cosmic to do list.

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live in Paris
live in NYC
live off the grid with a group of friends-family in the woods (sign up now!)
go to law school
go somewhere very tropical and very blue, like the Maldives
own a house
own a car
go to Huangshan

(note to self: so far all goals involve serious spot cash money. life list may need some rethinking, considering I’m 33 and not even close to any of this financially)

be present and whole forever
learn to ride a motorcycle
go to Mardi Gras!
feel like i am doing something big to change the world for the better (my last 2 jobs help with this)
maybe have or adopt some babies, maybe not
get a dog
write a book
learn spoken Chinese
learn German
have a solo gallery show, or several
take my nephews traveling somewhere amazing
take care of my parents
feel love for the world always

(hm, I just pasted these to my friend Sophia, saying I couldn’t think of very many life goals, and she told me this was a lot of goals! I don’t feel like it is? She also said; “If your goal was eat a sandwich, ride a bike, find a husband, then I’d be worried!” which made me realize I hadn’t even considered finding a life partner or love in my list of life goals. Ummmm, telling.)

So I started making a list of my “accomplishments” & then deleted them, realizing that ALL OF IT has been an accomplishment, yes, with some peaks, like leaving home and putting myself through college and getting a tech job and starting a band and making art for years without working a corporate job and living alone in a giant loft and throwing parties, but really, it’s been the journey both inward and out that is the accomplishment – there’s no list I can make that would sum it all up, and I’m happy with where all that has brought me, especially the inward journeys. I compare myself to others or think I should be doing SO MUCH MORE, when really, I’ve come so incredibly far & had so many obstacles to overcome – and I have gotten past every one alive and doing pretty well! So even though I haven’t done everything I would like, and I can think of places I can go and things I can do,  I can take this list with a grain of salt, really, a lightly traced map that I may or may not follow, and be sure that no matter what I end up doing or being, it will be good and fulfilling and amazing.

So, yeah. What does your map look like?

9 Comments

  1. I am definitely inspired to make a life list, I have not in a while! I also feel confident that you will accomplish all of these things including finding a life partner!

    xo.

  2. “Live in Paris”- I agree!!!
    I am a big list maker myself and appreciated this post. List making helps me feel organized and focuses my scattered Gemini brain. I still love to believe that everything I yearn for can be achieved, but sometimes even just day dreaming about my dreams is sustaining!
    I loved that you also talked about recognizing the things that we have actually accomplished as well. This is something I need to reflect on more often…

  3. Lavona: Please do come to the woods! I am quite serious — in the next few years I want to take some time (maybe as I’m going to law school?) to live on my land in my little house, build a few more, bring a tribe with me. Experiments and retreats. Dec-April is inaccessible except by snowshoe, but May – November is time enough, anyway.

  4. oh lists. i have so many scattered hither and thither. they really help me to see more clearly, but i must confess i haven’t made a life list for a while. and i should, we (me, my husband and daughter) are at a crossroads, we need to make some big decisions, and things are going to really have to change. one of the things on your list and i would imagine, it would be on a lot of people’s is – own a house. now, we do (or rather we have a huge and crippling mortgage) which is eroding my enjoyment of home ‘ownership, so i really want to rid myself of this burden. oh dear, i’m writing a lot here. i’m going to write myself a life list right NOW, thank you, this always turns out to be such a thoughtful place to visit.

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